Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters (Oh, My)
by TheGirlWithTheBird
Summary: In which the members of Frozen write letters to FanFiction, share one-shots, and sometimes act off their rocker. "Elsa?" "Yes, Anna?" Does your sudden need for a statue garden have anything to do with the sudden lack of crime in Arendelle? "..." "I don't think I want to know."
1. Chapter 1

_Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters_

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Have any of you considered that when Elsa uses her powers, her body temperature drops?

So licking her arm would be like licking a frozen pole?

O.o

I think I'll try it now.

Signed,

Princess Anna of Arendelle


	2. Chapter 2

_Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters_

If I owned Disney, I would be a millionaire.

"Elsa?"

"Yes, Anna?"

"Does your sudden need of a statue garden have anything to do with Arendelle's sudden lack of crime?"

"…"

"I don't think I want to know."


	3. Chapter 3

_Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters_

Disclaimer: No

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I tried the Elsa-as-an-icy-pole experiment.

It works.

*Anna?! Get over here and tell me exactly why you licked me while I was conjuring a snowstorm!*

*Whispering* I wouldn't try it at home, though.

*AHA!*

Signed,

Princess Anna of Arendelle


	4. Chapter 4

_Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters_

Disclaimer: Really?

Dear Esteemed Fanfiction Writers:

Anna told me of the trolls and how they attempted to marry her and Kristoff.

Remind me to never go to The Valley of the Living Rocks with a male human of any kind.

Signed,

Queen Elsa of Arendelle.


	5. Chapter 5

_Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters_

Disclaimer: Absolutely not

"ELSA!"

"…"

"ELSA!"

"What? I was sleeping, Anna…"

"THUNDER!"

"?"

"I'M AFRAID OF THUNDERSTORMS!"

"SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?!"

"Can't you turn it into a snowstorm?"

"A SNOWSTORM?! In the middle of JULY?!"

"Well, you did freeze the fjord last summer…"

"That was by accident, Anna. No way am I going to do it ON PURPOSE."

"But I'm afraid of thunder…"

"So? What about all the farmers who are growing all the food? What about all the people without winter cloaks and dresses?"

"I made sure that everyone had backup winter supplies for whenever you had a bad day."

"…"

"Yeah, she did!"

*In sync* "OLAF?!"

"Hi everybody! I'm Olaf and I'm afraid of thunderstorms!"

"…Not you as well, Olaf…"

"Yep!"

"So… about the thunder issue..."

"Fine. Get in. You too, Olaf."

*Hops in bed* "Ooo, what are we doing?"

"We'll wait out the storm."

"How long will it take?"

"As long as the storm is still…well, storming."

"What a way with words, sister."

"I don't act like a Queen ALL THE TIME, Anna. I need a break sometimes."

BOOM!

"OUCH! YOU ALMOST YANKED MY HAIR OUT, ANNA!"

"I'm afraid of thunder!"

"Yeah, a lot of people are, Elsa!"

"OOH! BURN!"

"Iceburn, actually. I highly doubt that Olaf can throw fireballs, even with words."

"It's cold in here!"

"I'M THE QUEEN OF ICE AND SNOW, ANNA! OF COURSE IT'S COLD!"

"Um… hey, everyone."

*Squee* "KRISTOFF!"

"Sven!"

"It's Kristoff, actually."

"Trust a magic snowman to get your name wrong. Who else is going to come waltzing into my room? Sven?"

*Scratches head sheepishly* "Um, yeah, about that…"

"MOO!"

"YOU BROUGHT A FREAKIN' REINDEER INTO MY ROOM?! INTO MY CASTLE?!"

"He's afraid of thunder, too, your majesty. His antlers seem to attract lightning."

"SPARE ME THE SCIENTIFIC EXPLINATION, ICEMASTER. YOU BROUGHT YOUR PET REINDEER INTO MY BEDROOM!"

"Um, Elsa? It's snowing…"

"I DON'T CARE! THERE IS A REINDEER IN MY ROOM AND HE'S TRYING TO EAT THE SHEETS!"

"What… Eat the sheets… Sven, no!"

"He chews on stuff when he's scared, your majesty. You count as pretty scary."

BOOM!

*Everyone squeaks in fear and hugs Elsa in terror*

*Sigh* "Trust ME to be burdened with a sister, a magical talking snowman, a mountain man, and a zany reindeer that are all afraid of thunderstorms."

*Anna* "Hey, the rain stopped!"

"LOOK! THERE'S A RAINBOW!"

*Everyone but Elsa* "AWWWW!"

(Elsa) *Facepalm*


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I am here to tell you that this is a suicide letter. Well…no, not hopefully, but it may as well be.

For I, my dear friends, AM GOING TO STEAL ELSA'S CHOCOLATE! :)

Wish me good luck as I journey into the jaws of the beast!

Or something like that…

Princess Anna of Arendelle


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

She's on to me. Mission successful. I'm on the run now. Cold, nothing but cold. Blizzards. Nothing but howling winds and Elsa: "WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE? WERE IS IT?!"

I ate it all.

*(howling blizzard winds) "UNHAND THE CHOCOLATE!"*

Did I mention I lasted all of five minutes?

***"AHA! GIVE ME MY CHOCOLATE!"***

*Squeak* Help me!

Most-Likely-Doomed Princess Anna of Arendelle


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Fanfiction Writers

CHOCKILATE COCKOLATE CHOCLATE! I NEED MORE CHOCKOLATE!

*Anna runs over and knocks Elsa out*

Sorry! Elsa's never had a sugar high before, and with Easter and all…

*CHOCKIOLAT!*

Excuse me for a second.

*Runs over-Ties Elsa up with heavy twine-Hands struggling Elsa to bewildered Kristoff*

Run, Kristoff! Lock her in her room and don't let her out no matter how much she bribes you with everlasting ice sculptures of me!

*Stammering in distance* Y-You knew?

OF COURSE I KNOW! I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

*Kristoff runs off with Elsa*

Well, now that that issue is under control…

*Kristoff runs back* Anna! Elsa escaped!

WHAT?!

She jumped out the window!

AND YOU LET HER!?

How was I supposed to stop her? She's the queen!...With ice powers…

You should have, I don't know, gone after her or something…

Are you suggesting I should jump out a window?

No!... just follow her, okay?

Ohhhh-kay?

*A few minutes later* Anna! I found her!

YOU DID?!

Yeah, and then she ran off again…

*Facepalm*

When was the last time you saw her?

Running off into the forest, cackling wildly and shooting ice everywhere…

*Sigh* I'll get my horse…

*Gallops off with Kristoff and Sven following*

Here we go again…


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Stop shipping me with everyone.

Signed,

A-very-curt-and-annoyed Queen Elsa of Arendelle


	10. Chapter 10

A Sip of Champagne, Half a Glass of Wine, And One Bottle of Merlot Later…

Hehehe… I had an Idea last night… What happens if Elsa gets DRUNK? So I typed this up. Some hurt-comfort and angst mixed in because I'm an emo loner half of my life and because now I'm straddling the line 'cause I failed my math test. :_(

On a happier note, thanks to all the reviewers! Your support is welcomed with open wings, and to IMADOLPHINLOVINGANIMEFREAK, OF COURSE you can use one of my ideas. I'm open.

THIS CONTAINS AN ELSA PARODY OF DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN. ANY SIMILARITY TO OTHER PARODIES IS COMPLETELY COINCEDENTIAL.

Me no own Frozen.

"Alright. Anna, whatever you do, don't get excited and spill chocolate all over people like the last time we had a ball, and absolutely NO GOING NEAR THE DRINKS. We don't need a drunk Anna on our hands."

The redhead grinned, bouncing in place. "Same for you, sister. The last thing we need is a drunk queen with ice powers on our hands."

The queen slammed the door on her wardrobe and sighed in amused frustration. "Anna, the ball is for the common folk. Most of them like to drink. If I want popularity, I need to be prepared." She ran a hand through her loose platinum locks and snapped her fingers, turning the brand-new gown into one frosted in ice.

"OOO! Gerda will be soo mad!" Anna giggled. "She picked that one out herself!"

Elsa threw her hands up in defeat. "I like my ice dresses! Summer green is not my color!"

Anna slowly let a sly smile slip onto her face. "Or my rebelliousness is rubbing off on you."

Elsa gave her sister an arch look and began to do her hair. "Maybe."

"Here. Let me help you." Anna ran over and began braiding Elsa's hair. "We should start acting like sisters again. And sisters do take turns doing their hair."

Elsa lowered her hands, unsure. She'd always had done things by herself, and was unaccustomed to having another do something for her after thirteen years of isolation.

"There! Done!" Anna said proudly. "Now rise, my dear queen. Your party awaits."

Elsa smiled faintly and stood up.

Well, she _tried_ to, anyways.

"Oww! Elsa, stop pulling my hair!"

"I am not pulling your hair!"

"Then why can't I…oh…"

"You braided our hair together, didn't you."

"…"

*sigh*

"So. This is what a party looks like."

"We already had this conversation, Anna."

"I just wanted to talk about it without the awkwardness, and the fighting, and the rejecting, and the ice-shooting…"

"I get it, Anna."

Both sisters stopped their conversation and looked out over the party. Townsfolk, farmers, peasants, you name it, were all bustling around the ballroom, laughing and shouting. Little kids played under the light snowfall that Elsa liked to use as decorations, scooping it up and throwing them at the adults. Anna had to duck to avoid an errant snowball and was immediately hit in the face with one that was _supposed _to hit Elsa but swerved around the queen and beaned Anna instead.

Anna wiped snow away from her face and playfully growled, "Oh, you are so gonna get it…"

"Who, me?" Asked Elsa, placing her hand on her chest in mock hurt. Mischief sparkled in her icy-blue eyes, contrasting with the innocent look on her face. "I didn't do anything…"

"Right… and a snowball just suddenly defied the rules of physics and did a 360-degree swerve to avoid me."

"Maybe the snowball didn't want to hit the queen in the face," offered Elsa. "Maybe it wanted to swerve politely around her and go on with its life and you just happen to be standing there."

Anna snorted. "Yeah, right…"She drifted off into the crowds, probably looking for Kristoff and planning some sort of evil revenge, if Elsa knew her sister.

She stepped off the dais (A/N: For lack of a better word) and began to roam the crowds. It was a better tactic of evasion than standing around looking regal, as Anna would easily find her there.

Then again, she was the only one wearing a dress made of ice.

Smiling gently, Elsa maneuvered through the masses, greeting random awed citizens and asking about their everyday life. It was both the easiest and most challenging aspect of her day; easy because all she had to do was to make small talk with people who were eager to share their stories with The Ice Queen (as she was commonly known), and hard because of the years of isolation and fear that had gripped her every day until she couldn't help but wonder if the smiles were enthusiastic masks that hid the townspeople's real feelings of terror and disgust and…

_Calm down, Elsa, _she chided herself. _You don't have to worry about that anymore._

"Queen Elsa!" Elsa turned. A man staggered up to her, waving a half-empty wineglass in the air. "You must try this stuff! Best wine I've ever drunken!"

Elsa hesitated. By all her queenly training, it would be polite to accept the man's offer and drink with him. In fact, it was expected. But she knew that the wine that was chosen was exceptionally strong…and there were children about…

She glanced around. Most of the parents had gone home already. It was late at night, and most of the men lingering had already consumed a fair amount of alcohol, judging by the way they were staggering around like an Anna on a sugar high.

Maybe she should accept. He was staring at her expectantly…and she didn't want to insult anybody, not again…

She hesitated again, then gingerly took a glass.

"Hurry, Kristoff!" Anna pushed her way through the remaining partygoers impatiently. Most of them just blinked at her, too drunk to recognize the princess, or care about what her boyfriend was carrying.

Which was exactly how Anna wanted it.

"Ummm…. Why am I carrying a bunch of cream pies, again?"

"Because when we dump them on Elsa, they'll look like she snowed all over herself. And because cream isn't ice or snow of any sort, she can't repel them!" Anna giggled in a way that was decidedly evil. "It's perfect!"

Kristoff blinked at her slowly. "Ohhhkay. But I will not be responsible for the consequences of your actions."

"Elsa!" Anna ran up to her sister…and then stopped suddenly. Elsa was standing with a bunch of random citizens, all looking drunk, with a wineglass held loosely in one hand.

Anna frowned. "Now why would she…" Was this some of those rules of etiquette that she could never remember? That you had to drink with the guests? She shrugged. It probably was something like that. She honestly didn't know how Elsa remembered all that stuff. And if Elsa was to be believed (and she usually was a very reliable person) she learned it all from a _book_.

Anna shook her head. Reading. She never had the patience for the stuff.

Grabbing a pie from Kristoff, (who was cowering in a corner with his scarf over his head) she stalked up to her sister. "Hey, Elsa…." She said in a singsong voice. "I have something for you…"

Elsa turned. "Oh, hey, Anna." She seemed weirdly informal. Then she peered blearily at her sister. "I almost killed you…" she started giggling. "I almost killed you TWICE!" The giggling turned to laughter.

Anna frowned and slowly lowered the pie. What…? She looked closely at the glass Elsa held loftily in one hand. Then her gaze drifted to the bottles of wine lining the table.

Oh no.

"Elsa, you need a good, long rest." She reached slowly for the wineglass, but Elsa saw her.

"Catch me if you can!" Elsa darted out of Anna's reach and ran into a corridor, laughing like a madwoman (which she was).

"Drat." Anna groaned.

Because if there was one thing that could be said about Elsa, It was that she was hard to catch.

END OF PART ONE

Author's Note:

I decided to split this in two. Because pat two would be just as long, or probably even longer than part one.


	11. Chapter 11

_Frozen Randomness, One-Shots, and Letters_

Disclaimer: No

"Elsa?"

"What now, Anna?"

"Why are you always singing 'Let it Go' in the shower?"

Elsa: O.o… "Because I can."


	12. Chapter 12

A Sip of Champagne, Half a Glass of Wine, And One Bottle of Merlot Later… (Part 2)

THIS CONTAINS AN ELSA PARODY OF DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN. ANY SIMILARITY TO OTHER PARODIES IS COMPLETELY COINCEDENTIAL.

Frozen is still not mine.

THIRTY-NINE REVEIWS!? THAT HAS TO BE A RECORD:-O

"C'mon, Kristoff!" Anna impatiently yanked her boyfriend up off the ground and darted to the entrance of the corridor, shoving drunks out of the way. They blinked woozily at the agitated princess, then turned back to their drinks. "We gotta go after her."

Kristoff gulped. "W-we do?"

Now, Kristoff wasn't a coward. His livelihood pretty much involved climbing onto a frozen lake high in the mountains, then proceeding to hack the ice out from under his feet, followed by a hike down the mountain and through a forest full of hungry wolves just dying to eat you, only to be greeted by an overly energetic red-haired girl who _may-or-may-not_ have had too much sugar, and happened to be a princess. Something that isn't exactly for the weak-hearted.

But he was smart, too, and he knew that chasing after a drunken queen with ice powers _probably_ wasn't a good idea.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Of course we have to! She's my sister, she's drunk, and she most likely will get into a lot of mischief by the time the night is up."

Kristoff stared at her in astonishment. "It is so weird to hear that coming out of your mouth."

Anna gave him a funny look. "Why?"

"Because…because it's…_practical_."

Anna threw her hands into the air. "I'm practical! I'm practical _all_ the time!"

Kristoff snorted. "Yeah, right ."

Anna glared at him and dragged him over to the hall. "Which way do you think she went?" She franticly looked around the halls. Elsa could be _anywhere._

"Um… the one that's coated in ice?"

"Hmm." Anna crouched down and ran a palm over the frost. "_Veeeeery _interesting_._"

Kristoff stared at her in disbelief. "Well, why aren't we going there?"

"Because. I want to make sure Elsa is the one responsible for this, and not some freak accident of nature." She pried a chunk out and peered at it closely, her voice suddenly shifting into a horrid British accent. "Why, Watson, I do believe we have a clue."

Kristoff somehow managed to pull of an even more surprised expression. "Whaaat are you doing?"

Anna grinned. "It's a game Elsa and I play sometimes. We pretend to be two detectives, Sherlock and his sidekick, Watson, and speak in funny accents. Elsa usually plays Sherlock, but I figured out a way to be Sherlock by springing it on her."

Kristoff facepalmed. "How on Earth does Elsa manage to deal with you, all day, every day?"

Anna gave him an innocent smile. "She usually doesn't."

Kristoff sighed heavily and put on his game face. He learned that with Anna, you'd be better off just rolling with it. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Stroke your chin and waggle your eyebrows and say,_ veeery_ interesting in a funny voice."

Kristoff sighed again and did all the things Anna told him (minus the eyebrow waggling, which he couldn't accomplish and besides, it was too embarrassing for him, anyways.) "Can we go now?" his voice sounded nasal, like he was congested. He stared at his girlfriend and wondered, again, how the Queen managed her without going insane.

Anna held one hand up, face grave. "Patience, Watson. I want to run this sample by the lab before deciding what to do next."

Kristoff threw his hands in the air. "Enough with the Watson and the detective-ness! And I don't even know what a lab is, much less how your sister plays along without going crazy!"

Anna huffed. "At least _Elsa_ plays along, even if she complains about being Watson and occasionally goes into some recluse break-down."

The Royal Icemaster and Deliverer took several steadying breaths. "Let's just go after your sister."

They followed the ice trail up several stairs. Then through some rooms. And some walls. And some broom closets.

They finally paused for breath at the bottom of one of the staircases to Castle Arendelle's few towers.

"Let's. Just. Rest for a second…" panted Anna. "Can. Barely. Feel my feet."

Kristoff (who was a little better than Anna, having chased after troublesome reindeer all his life) stared up at the spiral staircase. The ice trail glinted mesmerizingly in the dull light, giving off a silvery-blue incandescence. "You know, the Queen runs pretty well for a woman in an ice dress…"

"…And heels." Groaned Anna. "Don't forget the ice heels."

"And heels." Agreed Kristoff. He maintained his bemused expression, looking surprisingly like Sven. "I wonder how long that staircase leads on…"

Anna squared her jaw and stared grimly at the steps. "It's now or never." She gripped Kristoff's arm and hauled him to his feet with surprising strength.

She hurled herself up the steps.

Kristoff stared at the ice, then turned his gaze to the ceiling and closed his eyes.

"Why?" He groaned. "Why did _I _have to be the one who fell in love with a princess? And if I had to fall in love with her, then why does she have to be so difficult? And just so happens to have a sister who happens to have ice powers and a low alcohol intolerance?"

He shook his head, full of self-pity, and trudged after Anna.

"So…many stairs…"

"Never…thought…there could be so many in my _life_, let alone one castle…"

"I lived in this castle for nineteen years, and I never…knew… where this lead out to… or how many stairs there were."

"How did the Queen even manage to get up here?"

"How did she run through a forest and up a mountain ridge in one night without tiring? My sister…is full of mysteries, Kristoff."

"Don't…forget the ice castle."

"Right…and she built an ice castle, too. I…will never fully…understand that woman."

"I…never really…want to."

Both princess and Icemaster collapsed to their knees, wheezing. Neither knew how long they climbed, or how close they were to the top, but both of them knew it felt like an eternity.

"Shush!" Anna suddenly raised her hand and peered intently up the stairs, her blue eyes suddenly sharp and full of focus. "Do you hear that?"

Kristoff strained his ears. A faint, almost nonexistent voice could be heard floating down to far above. He could barely hear it, but Anna's head was tilting back and forth, so he assumed that it wasn't a factor of his imagination.

He stared at his girlfriend in amusement. With her pale face (she was still waiting for a perfect tan) and large blue eyes, Anna looked somewhat like an owl.

"That is most definitely Elsa." She jumped to her feet and started to run back upstairs.

Kristoff caught up to her. "What is it with you and Queen Elsa having really good hearing? I remember one time asking Sven if the Queen liked carrots, in a whisper, across the courtyard, and hearing Elsa saying, "No, not really, I prefer radishes. They're harder to freeze." She didn't even look up from the ice sculpture she was conjuring."

Anna giggled and nearly tripped over her own feet. "I know. I snuck into her room one night to steal her chocolate stash-she was down in the ballroom, talking to Kai about something queenly- and then hearing her clearing her throat behind me before demanding to know why I was rifling through her underwear drawer. And radishes? Really?"

Kristoff gave her a fond grin. "I asked her the same question. I mean, at least carrots are sweet. Radishes are pretty bitter." He paused. "I told her that, too."

"What did she say?"

"She sort of gave me this bittersweet smile and said, "That's the point."

The couple stopped again. A silvery voice that was undeniably Elsa's was drifting out from under a door about twenty feet above them.

"Let it go…Let it go…I forgot the rest…"

Anna and Kristoff exchanged glances and hurried up the steps. Kristoff reached for the doorknob, but Anna stopped him, a peculiar expression on her face. It looked…almost sad. Worried. "Wait. I want to hear what she's singing."

There was some more humming, then Elsa exclaimed, "Oh wait! I remember now!"

"The snow glows white on the mountains tonight, not a footprint to be seen."

"A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the queen."

Elsa's voice hitched, and Anna looked stricken. "So- this is what she sang to herself, that first night on the North Mountain? Oh, God, I had no idea…"

Anna stopped and clenched her teeth. There were tears swimming in her suddenly darkened turquoise eyes.

"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside." Elsa seemed to be crying, too. "Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried…"

Kristoff stared at the plain brown door. People drank to relieve their problems, to chase away their depression, and it usually worked.

This…this sadness reached deep. Deep enough to be etched into the Queen's soul, and to give her no respite from the pain.

At least by herself.

"Don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be! Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know…."

Elsa's voice suddenly gained strength, became fierce and defiant. "…Well, know they know!"

Anna glanced up in surprise.

"Let it go, let it go! Can't hold it back any moooore! Let it go, let it go-o! Turn away and slam the do-or!"

A crackling noise, accompanied by a small burst of glacier-blue light, followed each 'let it go', making it clear to Kristoff the meaning of the song.

"Ohhhh…she's letting go of her powers." He said, understanding dawning on his face. "That makes a lot more sense."

Anna punched him lightly on the arm. "It's more than that, silly! She's letting go of the pain of the past, as well as her powers." She gazed longingly at the door. "If only I knew…I would have tried harder."

"Tried harder for what?"

"I-I already told you about it. The Do You Wanna Build a Snowman period."

"Ah." Kristoff reached his arms around Anna and pulled her close. Both listened, enraptured, as Elsa continued her song, surprisingly clear-voiced for a drunk.

"And I don't careee what they're going to-o say!" A soft fwooshing noise, then a glow of pure white. Snow flurried out from the crack under the door. "Let the storm rage on."

Elsa paused for a second, then spat out, "The cold never bothered me anyways!" There was a surprising amount of rebellion in the usually meek queen's voice.

Anna shifted. "Well, that makes a lot of sense." Her voice was dry. "Her room is always freaking cold, no matter the season."

Kristoff gave her a look and snuggled her close. "She's the Snow Queen. Of course her room is going to be cold."

Anna flung her arms out, nearly punching her beloved in the face. "Not _that_ cold!"

"It's funny how some distance." Continued Elsa. Laughter was bubbling into her voice, making the concert much more enjoyable. "Makes _everything_ seem small. And the fears that once controlled me…" A dramatic silence. "…Can't GET to me at aaall!"

"It's time to see what I can do, to test the limits and bre-ak through! No right, no wrong, no rules for me-e-e…"

Another rush of icy air.

"…I'm freeee!"

"Let it go, let it go..." Sang Elsa. Kristoff now had the distinct impression that the room was covered in frozen water. "...I'm at one with the wind and sky-y-y!"

Anna clapped her hands. "Yeah! You go, Elsa! You da man!"

Kristoff gave her a weird look. "The...man?"

Anna grinned up at him, a little embarrassed. "Oops. I meant woman."

"Let it go...Let it go-o...You'll never see me cry-y!"

Kristoff shifted and whispered, "Too late..."

"And here I stand..." A crackling noise, like ice forming, and more blue light. "...And here I stay!"

"Let the storm rage on..."

"Hey, now," Anna said, alarmed. "What storm?"

"My power flurries through the air into the grooound." The crack under the door glowed pink, then exploded into bright white light. "My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around..."

"That explains why she loves geometry." Whispered Anna.

"...And one thought crystalizes like an icy blaaast..." A whoosh of chillingly cold air.

"...I'm never going back..." Elsa's voice broke. Anna shifted to attention, poised to break down the door, but for no need; Elsa's voice swelled with defiance again. "...The past is in the pa-a-ast!"

There was a clanging, clattering noise that Kristoff assumed was the sound of an incredibly expensive crown being flung halfway across the room.

"Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of da-a-awn."

"Let it go, let it go-o-o," The queen's voice was triumphant. "That perfect girl is gone!"

Anna laughed. "Finally!"

"And he-re I stand, in the li-ght of da-a-ay... Let the storm rage OOONNN!" Elsa warbled.

"The cold never bothered me anyways!"

A thump, then an "Oof!" followed this statement.

Anna snapped to attention. "We should probably help now."

Anna attempted to twist the doorknob, but it refused to open. "Aww...c'mon! This door doesn't even have a lock on it!"

Kristoff joined the effort. "It's...probably...frozen...shut." He grunted out. The knob cracked, then turned, swinging the door open and depositing both princess and mountain man on the ground...

...Where the then proceeded to slide several feet.

Both groaned and helped each other up, Kristoff supporting Anna more than Anna supporting him, because heels definitely weren't the best thing to wear when running on ice.

Unless you were a certain Snow Queen.

"Oh, hey, Anna." Said Elsa. She peered blearily at Kristoff, her brow furrowing in concentration. "And...Sven."

Kristoff threw his arms out in defeat. "It's Kristoff!" He shouted at the icy ceiling. "Why is that so hard to understand!?"

Elsa shrugged and took another swig out of the bottle clutched firmly in her left hand. Then her gaze lit on Anna again.

"Anna!" She giggled. "It's so nice to see you again!"

Anna backed up slowly, a look of consternation on her face. "Umm...Nice to see you, too, sis."

Elsa lurched to her feet (she'd been reclining on an ice sofa before) and beamed in a way that Kristoff found very unsettling. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" The queen tripped over her own feet and nearly fell over, laughing all the while.

Anna raised an eyebrow. She looked hopelessly confused. "I am not sure how to answer that question."

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" Elsa sang out. She smiled at Anna again.

"Of course I wanna build a snowman;"

Anna's mouth dropped open.

"Don't ride your bike around the halls"

Anna smiled guiltily. "Oh...that? I can't believe you remembered after all these years, only to scold me about it..."

"I agree that company is overdue, just stop talking to the pictures on the walls!" Continued Elsa.

("She can't hear you, Anna.")

"It's getting really lonely," The queen's eyes darkened. "In this empty room. Just watching my sanity slip byyyy..."

("Breath in, breath out.")

Elsa looked back to Anna. Her smile was gone. "Of course I wanna build a snowman..." Her breath hitched. "...Please, just anything but a snowman."

Anna rapidly blinked back tears. "I never really knew," she whispered, stricken. "I mean, I guessed when I saw Olaf, but I never knew for certain..."

She gulped and held her arms out to Elsa. "C'mon, Elsa...let's get you to bed."

Elsa studied Anna's held-out arms, her eyes half lidded. Suddenly, a sly smile appeared on her face, a smile that Kristoff didn't like in the slightest.

"Catch me if you can!" She laughed and jumped out the window (which Kristoff, admittedly, did not notice until now).

Anna screamed and ran over to the window ledge. "Elsa!" She cried, and looked around franticly below.

"Down here!" Elsa stood poised on the roof about twenty feet below, grinning up at Anna. She didn't look hurt in the slightest.

Anna breathed a sigh of relief and jumped out the window after her. With no hesitation. And no landing gear.

Luckily, Elsa had enough of her wits about and conjured up a giant snow pillow for Anna to land on.

Kristoff hesitated and picked up the bottle that Elsa dropped on the way out.

HIGH QUALITY MERLOT

WARNING: HIGH ALCOHAL CONTENT.

Kristoff groaned and gingerly set the bottle back down. "Hey, Anna?" He called. "I think that we're in for a long night,"

Anna laughed and called back, "Why?" She was currently chasing Elsa all over the rooftop, giggling and displacing a lot of fancy shingles- something the Queen probably wouldn't be happy about when she came to her senses.

"The Queen seems to have the ability to drink high amounts of wine without poisoning herself, but has a very low alcohol tolerance." He squinted. "If that even makes sense."

Anna giggled and dodged a snowball. "How do you know?"

Kristoff jumped onto the snowbank and brushed himself off. "Because she seems to have drank a whole extra-large bottle of high-quality, high-alcohol merlot."

Anna stopped immediately and swore in a manner not at all befitting for a princess. Then she turned back to Elsa, who was staggering around, talking to herself, apparently not noticing that she was about to fall off a roof some 200 feet in the air.

"Elizabeth Maryanne Susan!" Yelled Anna. "Get your frosty butt over here!"

Elsa stopped and gave her a confused look. "Who's Elizabeth?"

Kristoff stared at Anna. "Is that really her full name?"

Anna shrugged. "Probably not. I only said it because it sounded official."

Kristoff decided to settle on a safer retort than what he originally planned on saying. "Ohhh-kay."

Anna turned back to Elsa and began marching towards her, expecting a fight.

But all Elsa did was create a massive ice slide with a wave of her hand and ask, "Do you wanna slide down?"

Anna's face lit up. "Ohhhh! That would be awesome!" She hurried over and sat down behind Elsa at the top of the slide.

"Y'know, Kristoff, we should really get Elsa drunk more often." She chattered. "She's so much more fun this way!"

Kristoff cleared his throat and gave her a look.

Anna's face fell. "Alright...Alright..." She stood up and gave Elsa a commanding look. "Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."

Elsa regarded Anna, a lazy smile tugging at her lips. "Okay..."

Anna's face lit up. "Really?"

"But only after you slide with me!" Elsa grabbed Anna by the knees and kicked off, racing down the snow slide with Anna screaming after her.

Kristoff groaned, then jumped after them.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHRRRRRGGGHHH!" Anna tumbled out and landed squarely on top of Elsa.

"Oof." Grumbled the Snow Queen, turning an unfocused gaze on Anna. "Too heavy."

Anna huffed and crossed her arms. "Excuse me, Snow Queen? You're not exactly a featherweight, either."

Elsa's brow furrowed. "You're sitting on me."

Anna's face cleared of annoyance. "Oh. I'm sorry! Here, just let me..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Something very large, very burly, and very... reindeer-scented went flying out of the slide and crashed right onto the Arendelle sisters.

"Oh, um, ah, I'm sorry, ah, just let me, um, move my foot here..." The mountain man's stuttered apologies went unnoticed by the complaining royals.

"Kristoff? Oww, that's my chin, you buffoon!" (Anna)

"I want chocolate marshmallows..." (Elsa)

While the couple struggled to detangle themselves (shouting apologies and curses all the way), Elsa managed to extract herself and stood off to the side, watching. She wasn't really sure why she was here, or what she was doing, but watching those two duke it out sure was funny...

At last, both Anna and Kristoff managed to get up, both grumbling and dusting themselves off. Anna's gaze roamed idly around... and lit on Elsa, who was standing there watching them with a dazed expression on her face.

"Get her!"

Elsa blinked in surprise and then smiled. So _that's_ what they were doing!

She turned tail (swishing her cape out behind her for added drama) and ran.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Anna took off running, dragging Kristoff behind her. "We can't let her get away again!"

Elsa darted past buildings, through the palace gardens (the slide ended in the back courtyard) and out the back door, to the edge of the fjord. She paused and glanced back at the way she came, where Anna's shouts and Kristoff's alarmed shouts could be heard.

Something about this seemed strangely familiar...

"There she is!" Anna skidded to a halt and pointed at Elsa, who let out a surprised gasp.

Trapped!

"Quick Kristoff! Grab that net!"

"The...net?"

"Just do it!"

Elsa turned and darted onto the fjord, the water solidifying into solid ice at her feet. Luckily, it didn't spread, but she was still getting away...

And then a fisherman's net wrapped around her and dragged her down, ensnaring her and preventing movement.

Elsa gasped and struggled against the heavy twine, trying hard to get free. But she was drunk and confused, and the net was much stronger than any Queen, ice powers or no.

It was lucky that she was so disoriented, or she might have remembered that ice tends to make things brittle and easy to snap...

"Good throw, Kristoff!" Anna laughed. "We got her!"

Elsa managed to get to her feet...only to slip and plant her butt firmly on the ice.

Anna giggled.

Kristoff resisted a grin and tested his weight on the ice. When it held steadfast, he walked over and swung the struggling queen easily over one shoulder.

"Curses," muttered Elsa. She slumped against Kristoff's shoulder. "I almost got away, too..."

"Where should I put her?"

"Oh, just sling her up in the rafters."

"Like this?"

"Perfect. I'll sleep here 'till morning, just in case she needs anything. Oh, and Kristoff?"

"Yes?"

"Bring some more blankets while you're at it."

A/N: Whew! Took forever to write that! With a word count of almost 4,000 words and ten pages long, this has to be the most I've ever written in one shot.

HOPE YOU LIKED IT! XD


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